Tough Days and Little Joys
Just a little update (in the spirit of practice) from a walk today and beyond...
Yesterday was a tough day. This past winter, I applied to 5 MFA programs in creative writing. Those who know this already, know how much work and time I put into these applications and how excited I have been for the prospect of these programs. Well, yesterday I got my 4th rejection. I'm expecting the 5th to come any day now. But, maybe there is some semblance of hope still? Who knows really... Anyway, I did a lot of my grieving yesterday in preparation for that 5th decision (my top school). It may seem trivial right now as things are the way they are. But, grief is grief and it will not be told what to do. So, I just went with it and let the sadness take over for a little while.
Today I woke up sad af to still feel sad af but determined to get out for a walk at some point. I'm glad I did make it out. Something that brings me a lot of joy is watching the incremental changes in the season. Also, knowing in these uncertain times that there is food growing everywhere in suburban Maryland is a great comfort. Many of them are "weeds" - talk about a reframing! There was an abundance of chickweed, dandelion, dead nettle, wild garlic, garlic mustard, and speedwell to be spotted today.
On the walk, I also noticed that the magnolias have bloomed and their smell is in full force. Just a few days ago the flowers of this same tree were still tight and torpedoed. This knowledge brought a lightness, it made the days inside feel less monotonous now having proof that nature really is still marching on day by day outside. I think I may also have found a dawn redwood tree planted in someone's yard. I almost jumped back at the bark in excitement when I saw it because it looked SO west coast and nostalgic for an ecosystem I dearly miss - a very exciting find. This tree is another one I can monitor as it begins to regrow (they are one of the few deciduous conifers to they lose their needles each winter). Little joys, little joys. It's important to hold onto them now and always.
I am happy to (seemingly) be crawling out of that awful mini depression. Walks really help. I am cherishing them. And I am cherishing you too if you are reading this <3 Thank you.